Drafting Men Over 50
Drafting Men Over 50
Please excuse some of the language, but I just had to post this one that’s been around for a while.
The Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve go the who thing bass-ackwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say that 18-year olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky solider is a dangerous soldier. “My back hurts! I can’t sleap, I’m tired an hungry” We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some guy that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while
An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 A.M. Old guys always get up early to pee, so why not fight? Besides, like I said, “I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be killing some fanatical SOB.
I captured, we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house and away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat and didn’t see a singe 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side. Nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy too. I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave or to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them into harm’s ways.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed of old farts with attitudes and automatic weaponse who know thier best years are already behind them.
How about recruiting Women over 50 …. in menopause! You think Men of attitudes! Ohhhhh My! If nothing else, put them on border patrol… They’ll have is secured the first night!
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